I doubt anyone can fully understand how thoroughly I hate myself. They say you have to love yourself. I can’t do that. There’s no way I can do that. I’ve never acted like Zionists, IOF thugs or DemocRats, nothing like that, the things I have done pale in comparison to those horrors, but to me, they are completely heinous and unconscionable. Hence my self loathing and a norm of crying myself to sleep.
It cannot be repaired. History is history. What’s done is done. I can only feel disgust at the things which occurred. It is the reason God hates me and why I have been doomed to never know happiness of any kind. It is why I cannot overcome the inability to coexist with other hominin. It has been over fifty years. I hope I don’t have to do another fifty.
As for you…