Iggy Makarevich

Signs of Abuse and where to go for help

stop-ddlg-please:

Here is a long list of abuse examples. If you experience any of any of these, get out of the relationship. Anything involving a lack of consent is an instant leave the relationship.

Controlling examples

•they control what you eat
•they control what you wear
•they control who you talk to (cutting contract and isolation is an instant red flag)
•they control your behavior and punish you for basic emotions
•you have no form of communication
•you cannot contact your family (if you didn’t willingly cut contact yourself)
•you don’t get a say in anything. It is all up to the abuser because they “know better”
•you cannot do anything without their say-so
•they refuse you medical care or other basic human functions

Physical examples

•they hit you
•they touch you even if you say no (in a non-sexual way)
•they playfully hurt you without your consent or happiness in mind (like a friend punching your shoulder even though you dislike it and it leaves bruises)
•you have injuries because of them
•they get mad easily at you
•they don’t treat their friends like you, you are the only one suffering (even if they did treat your friends like you, and they hurt you, they are still abusive)
•they break your stuff
•they break their stuff then get mad at you for it
•they have no respect for you in any way

Mental/verbal examples

•arguments always end with YOU saying sorry
•they insult you
•they degrade you (example: you are useless)
•you think you have a bad memory because of arguments
•you do have a bad memory and they use it against you
•you remember how arguments went and they deny it and change the story to demonize you
•they demonize you
•you are always the antagonist in their eyes
•in an argument, they tell their friends their point of view so more people are against you
•they change subjects a lot towards things YOU’VE done.
•they never apologize, and if they do, it is rare and untrue
•they make you feel like you are nothing, and that they are all you have. So you believe you MUST stay with them
•you’re never right in their arguments. You can bring out the facts but your abuser will always cause you to apologize, even if it is their fault
•they swear at you in an offensive manner
•they ignore your comfort zones.
• they flip flop, one day they will accept you… the next day you are a disappointment in their eyes.
•they do not accept your identity (for lgbt+ people)

Sexual examples

•you give no consent
•they do not stop when you say no
•they touch you when you don’t want them to
•they don’t care about what you want, they want to do what they want
•they treat you like a sex toy then ignore your needs
•if in a bdsm relationship: they ignore aftercare
•they only allow themselves sexual pleasure
•they try to modify you to their needs (starving you, trying to force you to get breast implants)
•you continue you put up with this because it makes them happy

where you can go to get help:

http://www.thehotline.org/
https://m.safehelpline.org/
http://www.crisistextline.org/get-help-now/

Or find someone to message for help!
Call the police if needed, move in with a trusted friend (leave your phone behind if they track it, use your Friend’s)
Be safe!
These are just some examples, and I hope to get more.

Please, other survivors of abuse, if you have any other examples, please reblog and add more!! I am begging you. I also apologize if I worded this horribly. Feel free to correct me if made a mistake (though all of this is abuse, hands down)

Sadly, do not message me for help. I am not good help in a stressful situation, and I cannot help with a lot of abuse.

@survivornotsexobject @anti-ddlg @stop-ddlg

Reblogged 1 day ago from fallingforkonoha (originally from stop-ddlg-please)

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Source: stop-ddlg-please