Almost every night is spent in tears. Frequently afternoons as well. And mornings. The memories of so many years. So many memories. Not good memories. It will be this way until I die, I know it. Horrid. I never learned how to be a part of humanity and was always shunned and shooed away when I tried. The result is this wretch. Nothing good will arrive, of this I am quite sure. Trapped in my mind with no way to get out. I cannot even end it, for there are people who need what is here. There is no hope as far as I can see. I have no idea how to make it better and no one understands. God help me.