That sums me up. Very well.
The great nothing. The hollow shell. The empty home. The profound loneliness.
And the failures. The humiliations. The abuses.
Successes? There have been no successes.
Of any kind.
It has not been kind to my mind.
A life wasted. A life with and of nothing.
Another two or three decades of this will be pure torture.
Hence it will likely be more torture. Unless I can cease and desist.
Life sucks and then you die.
Just not soon enough.