Thanks be to thee… sick yesterday, didn’t even turn the computer on and slept most of the day, which seems to have worked, (Yay!) although I missed out on hanging with my angels.
Oh, man, what a week. I am of the opinion that it is all due to my profound stupidity combined with my devastating desperation that is at the root of it all.
A person who I thought cared, Cindy, moved in with her young son on Wednesday afternoon for a new start in work and to protect the child from a loony father, who they both hate. On Friday afternoon, she decided to up and leave. Due to a bit of sulking on my part at the grocery store. So much for protecting and starting. Stole some CDs on the way out.
It has been a great relief to learn from friends, real ones, that I should not have been troubled so badly, but instead relieved to have such a person out of my life. For to have as the very first thought to be to leave was just weird and definitely not right. Looking back on it and on our history I can see that that is the right conclusion.
I feel so sorry for the little boy, though, man, no kid deserves what he has endured and I am sure she has taught him to hate me.
I sure can pick em… the last one, Skylaire, tried to kill me after turning my house into a health hazard.
It’s awful though as I remain alone. “Profound loneliness” one shrink called it. I don’t know if that’s an official condition or not, but it probably should be for those millions of us who are trapped within it.
They say there’s someone for everyone. I call bullshit. I was cast out from humanity back when my age had but a single digit. There really isn’t any way to meet her even if it is true.
What I really need… really… is a way to prevent my profound stupidity from ever reaching the state of reality. This will be an epic step and is likely impossible. I think maybe I should just hide in my hut and never go outside except to get the mail out of the bocks.
Okay, tears in 3… 2… 1…
ETA: No tears, just sadness at what it turned out to be.
be well, more later