Current status

 

Billions and billions of apo logies!

Wow, what a horrorshow! Right after I posted that nice lady it lost the connection and then the SHTF. It went from a stuck database type trip to server down. The boffins said I had overdone my content limit. I thought it was unlimited. They took a few files out. Yikes, which ones!? So it’s now back up, obviously. Gonna have to chang how I do this site, but I have a ton of pics and stuff, so it should be alright.

Felt so freaky deaky weird… yeesh.

kewl

Be well

 

 

Oh, Good Lord!

This blog, such as it is, has achieved a milestone in reaching (and surpassing) the unheard of goal of 10,000 registered subscribers.

I am gob-smacked. I am humbled. It brings up theoretical possibility that I might not have achieved the ultimate in my profoundly record-setting loserhood.

I hope you’re real peeps and not bots. I would cry.

I don’t know what to say, except Thank You!

horsie

Bless you all.

be well

 

 

Wow… we’re at 9,900 subscribers. That is amazing. I wonder if they’re really real people. Gosh I hope so. Because that’d lift up my soul a good bit. It’s difficult for me to think that something I’ve made would be that attractive to that many people. Or any people, really.

So to the non-bots, the warm, fleshy people, I say bless you and I love you.

Wow. Things are so strange. So very strange. I think it will get better soon, well, one aspect anyway, even though shortly after it does, that aspect will get worse again. Permanently. Right now though, it is eroding. Ed thinks that if I ask nicely you’d all give me a dollar. I doubt that, as it’s yet to happen. LOL. A beggar. That’s what I am. All for the total lack of social skills and everything to do with it. I can do techy things and sciency things are a thrill. I can do things for others. But I can’t do a damn thing for me. Maximum depression.

I guess you enjoy my view of the earth, though. And that makes me smile. Thanks.

I’ve been doing some odd and perhaps insane things lately. I pray I get a handle on it soonest. There’s so much more I should maybe write. I will try.

be well

 

www.paypal.com/paypalme/IgnatiusFMakarevich

Starting in April the student debt crisis hits me with SS retirement garnishment, so I will then get the equivalent of $6.05 an hour. Ramen noodles for the next 14 years. Unless I decide… to just snuff it.

PayPal
Pay Ignatius F Makarevich using PayPal.Me
Go to paypal.me/IgnatiusFMakarevich and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it’s easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

 

 

I eat for hours

Badly needed for purpose and sanity at the least and hopefully more, please help.

No reciprocation required. Sessions can easily last hours, as they are under your control, so do bring a book or a player.

In close proximity to beautiful downtown Cos Cob, CT. Stay as long as you like.

[email protected]

 

Script for custom audition

From the window’s glass I defined it, her eyelids never post for transcribing every detail.
I have insulted, destroyed, killed in process, and they them through the thick.

Every time invisible is a sedition of second.
Every click without papers is a treason of image.
Every image without save is a fraud frame afraid of fraught.

Every border displayed in deceit is betrayal.
And we request that tandem betrayal to go, with art decorative’s distortion every other.

Ki kotsutien bava minivrik.

I have come to the conclusion that the Cosmos does not want me to be a voice actor. Or anything. It must be due to my obvious total incompatibility with this planet and it’s profoundly sick culture. Yup. What now, you ask?

Once again, I have lost out for being late. Although there’s a day left. But there are no links. So, I assume the quota’s been reached. So I lose. Every time. Every time. I am simply not in the right dimension of time for this concept to work out. Consequently, I am giving up on Voice123.

Oh… I would like your opinion, dear reader of this post. Do you think this is any good? In regards to at least one these references…

• Character should sound: frail, somewhat weak, aging, tired, deep, breathy/raspy, wavering through depression, sadness, and failure.
• Varied between common speaking volume to softer whispers, common conversational speed to slowed speech.
• No time length limitations at all, feel free to speak at a slower pace with thoughtful pauses.
EXAMPLES OF TONE/STYLE/DELIVERY:
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IO5Y6wlPn5k The tone, volume, and delivery of the voice (00:26-01:20).
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUHFRVxCtMI Specifically the segments where the voice sounds deep (00:53-01:12).
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4r9xXe3P6w I enjoy the near-whispered volume of this clip, also how the voice sounds deep with some bass to it.
• https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2jrldn Specifically the segments where the voice sounds deep (01:10-01:26). But also please reference some of the near-whispered segments as well (01:50-02:00).

Please leave a comment either way.

Thanks in advance.

be well

 

boot em all

Indeed. What a wonderful thing that would be.

But, folks, listen, this “shutdown” is not in any way an anomaly to politicos of either stripe… no, it’s a control mechanism that both sides are perfectly comfortable with and it’s all part of the plan. In their view, all is well and working normally.

It is all by design. All of it.

Worry only about what they’re doing behind the scenes.

be well

 

I keep praying for the end amidst the never-ending flood of tears. I simply cannot stand being alive. For the most part. Pleasant interruptions happen, like spending a couple of hours with my two beautiful angels. Or talking with my dear old friend for a couple or three hours on the phone. But it’s all so fleeting.

I am certain, beyond any doubt, that my life will never have any more pleasure than what’s mentioned above. I am convinced that I’ll never see my nieces again, at their choice. I’m blocked and have been for a long time.

I have near zero social abilities and my physical and economic situations rule out so many things.

Therefore, nothing good will come this way. Nothing at all.

But I need to stay alive to administer the hut so that things keep rolling. It is so odd living for an hour of soul soothing a week. It keeps the tears flowing, though. No shortages there.

I discovered more skills that I’ve lost the other day. Skills that could’ve, at least theoretically, provided some occasional money. It was unpleasant.

God. God help me. I am a total failure. In my humble opinion. I have only one real accomplishment and I even screwed that up a few hundred times along the way. That’s why I say total. I have never done anything right. Ever. After fifty plus years, it is so grating on the soul.

And it’s never going to get any better, barring some miracle dealt personally by God. And like friends and family, ain’t nobody got time for that.

Be well

 

Total Media Blackout! Paris Is Far Worse Than They Will Tell You!

WeAreChange
Published on Dec 7, 2018

In this video, Luke takes to the streets of Paris France where there is a feeling in the air something BIG is about to happen. In fact, there seems to be a total media blackout, and the truth is that Paris is far worse than they will tell you!

Visit our MAIN SITE for more breaking news PATREONFACEBOOK TWITTER INSTAGRAM STEEMIT OH YEAH since we are not corporate or government owned help us out wearechange.org/donate We take Crypto Coins Bitcoin – 1F6oeUnhXfr5UMC95apbJg7CLjm3BUrT8V Dash – XiZebHViTKxjngJ8U8Gekbz34XDcMjKe29 ETH – 0x9124589c4eAD555F04a7214214c86EA80E129abB Bittube – bxdigY3LEr3hL2cScYqTJaiafeDxhpt9bK9FcxXbkuFeDyc9sZfF97iAmqSPR6NyfQ8wp34d7PeAU95gsZYQBpib1YEKz5aY4

Oh, man. Big doings in Paris. Things may be very different soon. I hope it turns out in nice, proper manner.

be well

 

Got this today via my good friend Jean Louis, who is passionate about the country he has made his home.

It’s an independent documentary report on an ICE immigration center in Broward County, Florida. Please… watch.

How about them apples?

Vote Red. Vote America.

be well

 

1967 Speech by Myron C Fagan ALL About Illuminati, Zionism, Masonry, Skull & Bones, The CFR awesome!

JediWitness
Published on Oct 21, 2015

This is possibly the most excellent and concise overview of the history of who runs the world and who continues to do so that I have yet heard. Myron Rocks!

Myron Fagan was an American writer, producer and director for film and theatre in the 40s and 50s. He was an anti communist! Myron Fagan

Please note that the events he speaks of have been and are taking place. Don’t nitpick dates… realize that the plan is real and is ongoing!

We desperately need to stop these people.

This is what is happening.

Here is a clip to help you in your decision.

Hillary Clinton admits the CFR gives the Orders

Freethinker2O12
Published on Jul 22, 2009

Hillary Clinton, at the CFR on July 15, 2009. “We get a lot of advice from the Council, so this will mean I won’t have as far to go to be told what we should be doing and how we should think about the future.”

Notice the reverance in Hillary’s tone of voice as she talks about her masters?

Also, in those Hillary emails, wasn’t there one that mention Hillary giving “penance” to LYNN DE ROTHSCHILD?

— seeker1963

Yes, I saw that email. It was truly disgusting. And more than a bit frightening for our country.

Myron makes mention of the Chicago 1313 organization. “Never heard of it before But seems shady as hell in retrospect.” Linkage to 1313 by dashen.

1313

I note that the totally controlled YouTube platform slaps a completely BS notice on the Myron Fagan video about the CFR.

That’s control, baby. Be aware!

be well

 

It’s made me sick that Trump and Pence have chosen to perpetuate the greatest of all American lies.

Trump said he’d out the perps. Therefore, since that obviously isn’t happening, he’s now a proven liar and worse, complicit in the event. Motherfucking bastard shill. Ever obedient to his boss, Netanyahu, the psychopathic, nuclear armed owner of this country.

 

The masterminds and overlords.

This is not theory. This is fact.

They were helped by the select Cheney / Bush cabal called The Project For The New American Century and Saudi Arabia, a long time collaborator with the US and Israel.

911 Five Dancing Israelis: “Our Purpose Was To Document The Event”

Sweettina2
Published on Mar 20, 2017

A Mossad surveillance team made quite a public spectacle of themselves on 9-11.

The New York Times reported Thursday that a group of five men had set up video cameras aimed at the Twin Towers prior to the attack on Tuesday, and were seen congratulating one another afterwards. Police received several calls from angry New Jersey residents claiming “middle-eastern” men with a white van were videotaping the disaster with shouts of joy and mockery.

“They were like happy, you know … They didn’t look shocked to me” said a witness.

[T]hey were seen by New Jersey residents on Sept. 11 making fun of the World Trade Center ruins and going to extreme lengths to photograph themselves in front of the wreckage.

Witnesses saw them jumping for joy in Liberty State Park after the initial impact. Later on, other witnesses saw them celebrating on a roof in Weehawken, and still more witnesses later saw them celebrating with high fives in a Jersey City parking lot.

“It looked like they’re hooked in with this. It looked like they knew what was going to happen when they were at Liberty State Park.”

Much more here: www.whatreallyhappened.com/WRH…

 

9/11 Suspects: The Dancing Israelis

corbettreport
Published on Sep 10, 2016

TRANSCRIPT AND SOURCES: www.corbettreport.com/?p=19760

In the days after 9/11, while Ground Zero continued to smoulder, millions heard Dan Rather and various media outlets repeat vague and unconfirmed reports of arrests that took place that day. These rumors held that Middle Eastern men, presumably Arabs, were arrested in explosive-packed vans in various places around the city on September 11th, and that some had even been photographing and celebrating those events. What most do not realize is that those reports were not mere rumors, and we now have thousands of pages of FBI, CIA and DOJ reports documenting those arrests.

 

NATIONAL SECURITY ALERT – 9/11 PENTAGON ATTACK from Citizen Investigation Team on Vimeo.

Citizen Investigation Team offers this compilation of independent verifiable evidence exposing the 9/11 attack on the Pentagon as a psychological black operation of deception. Consider this a non-violent call to action as everyone is encouraged to copy and distribute this conclusive evidence to media, political, and authority figures while first requesting, and then demanding a response. Inaction by authorities and media to this information amounts to a crime of obstruction of justice so it’s time they are held accountable. This is particularly the case as more innocents are slaughtered and additional billions of dollars are spent on a fraudulent “war on terror” perpetuated under any other name. Please visit CitizenInvestigationTeam.com for full resources and a step-by-step strategy as to how you can take action on this critical life or death information. Click on the below link to subscribe to receive email notifications of updates:
http://bit.ly/hTqo5h

Lloyde England & His Taxi Cab – The Eye of the Storm from Citizen Investigation Team on Vimeo.

Citizen Investigation Team presents this follow-up presentation to their previous piece, “The First Known Accomplice?”. Get ready for an intense, surreal, and disturbing personal experience with the famous taxicab driver Lloyde England who claims the windshield of his cab was speared by a light pole that was allegedly hit by the plane that allegedly hit the Pentagon on 9/11. The impossibility of Lloyde’s story is exposed as we deconstruct the details and take a road trip with Lloyde to physically examine the actual cab that he still has preserved under a tarp on his property in the country. In light of the now proven approach of the plane on the north side of the former Citgo gas station, nowhere near the downed light poles, it has become painfully clear why Lloyde’s story doesn’t add up. See www.CitizenInvestigationTeam.com for more details.

9/11/2001 The Pentagon: The Jason Ingersoll Image Collection

lytetrip
Published on May 12, 2011

Jason Ingersoll was a military photographer who was on the scene in Arlington minutes after the 2001 attack on the Pentagon. This presentation exhibits all of his amazing images from that day in chronological order. No commentary, analysis, or scrutiny included. Just the raw images set to a soundtrack for a very emotional presentation of this extremely tragic event brought to you by Citizen Investigation Team.

For more information please visit: http://www.citizeninvestigationteam.com

 

9/11: Shanksville Crash Site (Proof there was a pre-existing scar)

PronStarKiIIuminati
Published on Jun 12, 2012

NOTE: There is more than one scar, to identify: it is the one at the top, closest to the road (0:22 in the video) 9/11 Shanksville ‘Flight 93’ ‘Crash Site’ Exposed [Proof] Black boxes: http://911research.wtc7.net/planes/ev… Note that the path running alongside the ditch on 9/11 was less prominent in the older photos and was not used as much as the outer path back then, don’t let anyone confuse you – these two scars lie in the same position and at the same angle. What really landed here at Shanksville on 9/11? Was it an airliner filled with passengers as we were told? Was a military drone or something smaller used? Was a linear ditch used in some way, that was found to have been there previously? They even had the balls to make a movie about it to try and reinforce the lie. Must be hilarious for those who really did this.. You need to have an explanation for Shanksville, and people will take the easy option (ie one which is concocted by someone else, someone they trust) over the task of actually examining the evidence for themselves. PilotsFor911TruthForum: I’ve been playing around with Google Earth and found something very interesting. If you pull up the location of the Shanksville ‘crash’ apprx 40 03′ 03″ N lat and 78 54′ 17″ W longitude (there’s pictures posted of the memorials and it will soon become apparent of the correct location); you can somewhat see the ‘scar’ in the earth, there’s what looks like two irrigation ponds nearby and a handy-dandy rather hidden road going up to the back end of the exact spot of the crash. ‘Crash Site’ Footage filmed by a Mason http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MubyN…

 

9/11 Shanksville Eyewitness Susan McElwain

Terrorcell2
Published on Aug 27, 2007

This uncut interview footage with Shanksville Eyewitness Susan McElwain debunks the Official Story and exposes The Histroy Channel’s heavy editing of her eyewitness account.

Ms. McElwain was filmed by a former CIT member.

FLIGHT 93 DID NOT CRASH IN SHANKSVILLE, PA! IT LANDED IN CLEVELAND, OHIO!

douglas bickford
Published on Jun 16, 2013

D&D BICKFORD 360-980-5397

Note that this tidbit, not in the video despite the title, that 93 landed in Cleveland and then parked in front of the closed-for-the-day NASA facility there, was published in a major Cleveland newspaper … who were reporting what the Mayor had announced.

I wish all this stuff was still online, but it seems the shills are thicker than ever.

I will now close this or it’ll never get posted in time. I devoted years and thousands of hours to this research, until, as I’ve said, the fact that no one cared made me so uncomfortable I just couldnt do it any more. Even Above Top Secret is a major downer. So, you all deserve what you get.

be well

 

Dear user peeps,

I just installed Dark Mode! It gives the admin section a sweet dark background with light type. If its not on for you, go to your profile and check the box.

They hopefully will put it into the Core, but when Gutenberg comes it might leave us so I say dig it while we can!

My eyes are hap, hap, happy!

be well

Iggy

Just some weird stuff. A derailment, so to speak.

I dunno.

I feel like snuffing it today.

I wish someone would help.

But I know that no one will.

Whoa!

Help arrived! An Angel called and we talked for a good while. Might call back, even. She did!

You see… always trust that good will arrive. Easier said than done to be sure, but if you can get yourself to believe that it will happen, it will. I’ve found it’s usually when you think you’re about to snap. I think that’s to help it sink in, though. Which is cool.

 

I doubt anyone can fully understand how thoroughly I hate myself. They say you have to love yourself. I can’t do that. There’s no way I can do that. I’ve never acted like Zionists, IOF thugs or DemocRats, nothing like that, the things I have done pale in comparison to those horrors, but to me, they are completely heinous and unconscionable. Hence my self loathing and a norm of crying myself to sleep.

It cannot be repaired. History is history. What’s done is done. I can only feel disgust at the things which occurred. It is the reason God hates me and why I have been doomed to never know happiness of any kind. It is why I cannot overcome the inability to coexist with other hominin. It has been over fifty years. I hope I don’t have to do another fifty.

As for you…

be well

 

phgI hope you feel like this lovely girl must do for a smile like that. I am not quite that happy, especially as I messed up earlier (social boneheaded idiot, you know), but I am doing pretty well for a welcome change.

This is due to my discovery that setting my environmental controls in a certain way allows me to have once again, the bizarre dreams that I used to when I quit cigarettes years ago and when I had run out of ganja. I had chain smoked it and it shut off my dreaming. I hadn’t even realized, to be honest, which I find unusual.

I think if I can discipline myself to not chain it, I could enjoy the wonderfulness of the gift God’s given us again without the dulling. I had never noticed any dulling before, but then again I’d never done it like that before.

My dreams can really be out there. My Type II has me getting up every so often to pee but the dreams can usually be continued through much of the night. Which is fantastic.

Another result of the change is that my periods of sleep between interruptions has increased in duration, which, naturally, is fabulous. Feeling the positive effects of that, too.

The awesomeness knows no bounds.

Oh. Yes. Sorry!

The environmental change was turning the A/C off at night so it was not noticeably cold in the room but not warm enough to sweat. Also turned off the path directing fan in the living room, for noise and the bedroom fan to low, also for noise.

Wa la!

be well

 

Kenny Chesney – While He Still Knows Who I Am – An Alzheimer’s Tribute

kabrengle
Published on Jul 1, 2012

In November 2011, my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. From that day forward, I was determined he would not forget me … or I him. Kenny Chesney’s While He Still Knows Who I Am is exactly where I am right now, unscripted. A tribute to all who are living with and dealing with Alzheimer’s disease.

Oh Lord, more tears for another beautiful song. All the same feelings. My dad… I think he was catching it but he rejected me for the last three years so I spent that time in anguish wondering why and then a broken hip took him from us. Oh God I just want to die. Maybe then I could ask him… why.

 

JAY ALLEN – BLANK STARES

JAY ALLEN
Published on Apr 12, 2017

Get “Blank Stares”, now available on iTunes: https://goo.gl/x3Oznd

***ALL PROCEEDS GO TO ABE’S GARDEN***
http://abesgarden.org

My name is Jay Allen. I’m a country music artist and songwriter signed to Sony/ATV in Nashville, TN.

My mom has early onset Alzheimer’s, and at the age of only 52, she’s now showing signs of stage 6. It’s something that has affected my family deeply, something that we can’t escape, and it brings me to my knees most days.

I grew up in small town rural Iowa with mom(Sherry), dad(Joe), and my two baby sisters(Cassie and Amber). We didn’t have a lot, but our parents always seemed to find a way, sometimes working 2-3 jobs each to make sure we had enough. Looking back, it was a humbling childhood, but what I think affected me most was my mother’s affection and selflessness towards all of us. She always put her children first, no matter what the sacrifice. If we wanted some stupid toy for Christmas, she would work the overtime or pick up an extra shift. She didn’t care what it took, she just wanted us to be happy.

When I was in middle school, I remember asking my mom what she would change to make her life better if she could go back in time.

Her response was, “I wouldn’t change a thing. I was made to be a good mom. I live for you kids.”

Now that I’m older, I hold onto those words as I watch this horrible disease steal away a beautiful woman. Sometimes I want to yell at God when I hear her stumble through a simple sentence, or when I look at her and feel like she’s not even there anymore. It makes me so mad, and it kills me that I can’t fix it. But then there are the moments of hope, when dad brings her to visit Nashville and we dance all night at The Sutler…or when she grins and taps her foot to the live music…or when I wrap my arms around her, and she takes a deep breath and says, “I’ve missed you, Jay.”

Her words, the good memories, and the moments of joy – that’s what I hold onto.

As a songwriter and up-and-coming artist, I feel that I have an obligation to be a positive role-model, and to also give back by utilizing the gifts that God has blessed me with. In realizing the importance of this, I finally found the courage to write a song about my experience, called “Blank Stares”. My vision is that this song will raise awareness, bring hope to those affected, and most importantly, become a weapon in the fight against Alzheimer’s.

So please, download your copy of “Blank Stares” today, share, and dream with me. Music is powerful. Let’s do something with it.

With all my heart,
Jay Allen

FOLLOW JAY:
http://instagram.com/jayallenmusic

Written by Jay Allen and Jason Nix
Music produced by Jason Nix
Video produced by Steve Freeman

© Sony/ATV Music Publishing

I need to listen to this again. Maybe a couple more times. It sounded great, but I didn’t really hear it as I was crying my eyes out.

For over a decade my life was devoted to full time for my aunt who was taken by this incredibly awful disease. Incredibly awful doesn’t adequately describe how frightening it is … especially for the person who has it. I did it 24/7 and gave up working. It was for love, it taught me so much about what love is and it was I think also to give some some atonement for my disgusting neglect of my mom as a teen and early twenties self-centered asshole. Mom was taken by Multiple Sclerosis starting when I was ten years old and I cry myself to sleep every night asking her forgiveness. We had her home till we physically couldn’t and lucked out into the only good nursing home in the state for her last ten years and I hardly ever visited. I was and am a sack of shit. It’s one of the reasons I long for death … it’s simply what I deserve. She was a beautiful mommy and so devoted to us it took your breath away. She even turned me on to Forteana.

Oh God help us all.

 

 

And I am lucky enough to know a couple. Amazingly lucky. This because I have not led a particularly good life. I have done such awful things.

And yet, the angels watch over me and help me get through the agony that is my life. That is because I can not stop the constant flow of memories, bad memories, of all those things I did. And it is quite literally constant, even while talking or working or typing this very sentence. It never, ever, stops.

Weird.

Here’s something different. For these parts. Well, maybe not that different.

Toyota Supra race car

Toyota Supra race car

They go pretty well, it seems.

Anyway, started this hours ago… distractions…

be well

 

It is the most awful thing there is.

One of the shrinks that have attempted help said I have “profound lonliness.”

And I am feeling ultra lonely today, mit crying. Right from the git go. And more than usual.

Roy Orbison – Only the Lonely (Monument Concert 1965)

RoyOrbison
Published on Jul 18, 2011

Music video by Roy Orbison performing Roy Orbison – Only the Lonely (Monument Concert 1965).

(C) 2011 Sony Music Entertainment

I have always had a soft spot for the work of Roy Orbison, the master of loneliness. But I can’t feel it all the way because in his songs, it’s always about lost love. I’ve never had any love, so I am left to use my imagination.

All the while in mental agony over never having anyone to share life with… and the horrible reactions of those the idea was proposed to. It makes me want to go off and die. Which I will most likely wind up doing — sooner than later.

Roy Orbison – Crying (Monument Concert 1965)

RoyOrbison
Published on Jul 18, 2011

Roy Orbison’s official live video for ‘Crying’ (Monument Concert 1965). Click to listen to Roy Orbison on Spotify: http://smarturl.it/RoyOSpotify?IQid=Cry As featured on The Ultimate Collection: Buy/Listen – https://LegacyRecordings.lnk.to/BhjSN… More from Roy Orbison Blue Bayou: https://youtu.be/HiMl4yX1JiA You Got It: https://youtu.be/lvR1YgT7QYs I Drove All Night: https://youtu.be/m5N9IHqqGcA More great 80s videos here: http://smarturl.it/Ultimate80?IQid=Cry Follow Roy Orbison Website: http://www.royorbison.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royorbison Twitter: https://twitter.com/royorbison Subscribe to Roy Orbison on YouTube: http://smarturl.it/RoyOSub?IQid=Cry
———
Lyrics:

I had to escape
The city was sticky and cruel
Maybe I should have called you first
But I was dying to get to you

I was dreaming while I drove the long straight road ahead, uh-huh, yeah
Could taste your sweet kisses, your arms open wide
This fever for you was just burning me up inside

Crying to get to you
Is that all right?
Crying, crept in your room
Woke you from your sleep to make love to you
Is that all right?
Crying

The above noted conditions apply even more to this one, eh. If you were to randomly glance in my direction, at any random moment of your choosing, you would have an exceptionally good chance of finding tears rolling down my cheeks.

It is my normal.

Maybe it’ll change someday, but I just know that it never, ever will.

be well

 

Strange as it may sound, I am experiencing some happiness!

This courtesy of my three friends upstairs, one of whom shared good convo with me last night and then later on I was invited up for steak (!) and a movie with one and two as three was sound asleep. It was beautiful and so rare in my recent years.

There is to be more sharing today. Yay.

This is lovely. And I am deeply grateful.

roedoe

A beautiful doe. Roe deer/rådjur.

via ponderation reblogging michaelnordeman

Sweetness. Love.

be well

 

It seems so quiet and mellow here this morning. It’s just before 11 as I start writing. Even the traffic is quiet, making a lower volume than the fan.

I don’t know what to do. There are so many things to do… but I have tremendous difficulty starting anything. And I do mean anything. I wonder if what was spoken of with a nearby friendly individual will happen today. We shall see. I hope it does actually. Maybe it will.

It’ll be nice out today… tomorrow will be 90° so I’ll be in the AC… my ancient body can’t take it anymore and truth be told was never very good with heat. Or cold. Which kind of puts the kaibosch on hunting for dinosaurs, pteros and giant spiders. And of course nowadays just seeing is a major problem.

Not as many tears as usual, so far, today, which is also a nice turn. So many things to work on. Most importantly my mind/brain interface, which has lost so much of itself. not that there was an awful lot to start with. I have near zero people skills and if you are female it for all intents and purposes is zero. It hurts. But I just hide in my hut. Contact with the outside is minimal to the max. Which also hurts. But it is my normal and always has been, as I have always been the outsider in all situations. Yes, all of them, ever since I can remember.

God help me.

bsc

My friend just got back from Ireland wherein she took a side trip to this place… where they keep the notorious Blarney Stone.

1

 

2

 

3

 

4

 

be well

 

t

More of them now. A lot more.

Today’s supposed to be happy and spent with family and friends.

Not possible for me.

I realize now that it never was, unless I actively insinuated myself into others’ plans.

Which I can no longer do.

So I get to be…

Alone.

 

x

In response to this morning’s post…

1

One of my favorite cars even in stock form… well, Carlo got to work on it to make it simply awesome.

9

Also a favorite of the one who caused the vision. And therefore…

Mille grazie!

x

Whoa.

1

Fiat Abarth X1/9 Prototipo, 1973. A racing version of Fiat’s mid-engined sports car.

But wait, Carlo would never leave us in the lurch…

Here’s a live one on the streets of Texas!

9

 

x

 

1

 

9

Enjoy!

Adding:

xp

Fiat Abarth Prototipo (1973)

The Fiat subsidiary Abarth, in 1973, developed the Abarth X1/9 Prototipo to replace the 124 Spider Abarth as Fiat’s main rally car, but another model was chosen. ‘Prototipo’ is a nice way of putting that nobody knows how many where produced. Parts where constantly swapped and changed during development process. It’s believed that a total of 5 where produced.

©2016 Tom Mayer, Monkey Crisis On Mars – All Rights Reserved

Source: facebook.com

via monkeycrisisonmars

Much peace.

be well

 

 

Wow. Today I awoke to a beautiful vision.

It’s given me a tremendous amount of hope for the future.

I don’t want to get overly excited — but it was such a good sight to see…!

sr

Yes, according to my calculations, happiness should be rolling through me ‘ead.

And don’tcha know I am feeling pretty darn nice for an ig.

That is quite significant.

I pray this continues.

=]

be well

 

tkv

Ignore the media kvetching. Ignore the blue checkmarks and journos and op-eds.

Just… look at this.

This gentleman is excited as all get out! As you should be! He had to wait a long, long time, though, eh?

#north korea  #donald trump  #korea summit  #politics  #news

This is the most fabulous thing ever!

What happened?

Trump happened!

peace!

be well

 

OMG!    

I have somehow attracted 5,000 people and entertained them to the point that they have registered and subscribed to this site.

I never thought this possible… is it just for the, um, girls? Surely not my witty prose!

I gotta put a good buzz on and think about this… play that Buddy show with George and all…

I am not sure how to thank you all except to say Thank You and keep doing what I do…

Oh, peace upon your Souls!

Iggy

 

Today’s been that, yeah.

Some lovely quality time with the youngins was enjoyed by yours truly. That is always a good soothing balm for the soul.

I’m so lucky, too, cuz my youngins is good youngins and not everybody can say that these days. I love watchin’ ‘em grow and learn to set up for navigating the bizarre wild weirdness that will be coming down the pike for us all. It is good to share what I’ve learned over the many millennia, too and it feels good to pass it on.

And saw good friends upstairs last night and in email today. Bought nutrients more economically…

All in all nice.

Now to cook a pizza and hear Micah talk about Percy’s hunt for Z. Maybe I’ll post that. I hope he wouldn’t sue.

Here’s some vehicular porn…

1

P 1800. Such a pretty car.

2

 

3

 

4

Alpine A 110

5

On the fence here…

6

It’s just not…

7

confidence inspiring.

8

Aston elegance.

9

 

10

For Willy and jerri, the latest in F150s! Raptor – The Official truck of (drum roll) The CammoDudes !

Audio porn…

11

HOLBORNE Analog 2 Mk II turntable with DualPivot Mk II Tonearm

i

George Warren Reference turntable

12

The legendary Day Sequerra FM Reference tuner. In pewter finish. Who knew they even had such a finish?

peace

 

Seriously.

The world is certifiably insane. Has been for a while now.

Possibly even comes under some as yet undiscovered and unnamed condition even more tragic than insanity.

It’s somewhat like this out there:

oi

Some things seem o be getting better… but some things are definitely tanking.

I have senior moments with an alarming frequency and my body is crapping out right quick. And my eyes… oh Lord have mercy on my eyes.

Trying to finish up the hedge trimming, i.e. cart away the debris today and I’m almost done but I had to come in after an awfully brief time which surprised me because I chopped it all in one go pretty much and it was a full 20 degrees more out there then than now.

Quite disconcerting. Quite.

oi

 

oi

 

oi

 

oi

 

oi

Trying so hard to ignore what my mind keeps telling me. If I do not, bad things invariably happen due to my profound social stupidity. I have no clue. Not even a hint of a trace of a rumor of a clue.

Yup, yup. But today, which is well after the words above the words in the previous paragraph, is mentally painful. God damn demons.  Note, we shall, that this is despite the great time that was spent on the phone this morning with the Angel of the North. Which involved music and audio, even! Far from normal.

Yesterday the aforementioned yard cleanup occurred with past debris included and the front lawn got mowed. A new muffler was then ordered, along with some other stuff, after it finally hit the ground halfway through. I do not have the ability in my current state to grow veg instead of grass, but I think that would be really neat. Something to ponder. Just had a vision of those awesome old manual mowers … those things make the coolest noise. Worth it just for that, ya know?

Okay, there’s more but if I don’t post it will languish in the drafts bin for countless eons… so…

ETA: Doh! During the decapitation of the thousands of helpless green beings, Local Angel appeared, as if by wizardry, for an exceptionally brief encounter which was prime for it’s duration.

 

peace

 

Seriously. It really has been.

The highest quality time was spent with the best of friends while getting some very important things done.

Folks, if not for these folks, I shudder to think where I might be right now – instead of sitting here at HQ basking in the warm feelings I’ve gathered.

Oh man, maybe I can align some ducks, maybe maybe…!

We can call it … D Day!

( ZERO disrespect … it stands for dryer, eh )

a

Attempt a landing here. Despite the warning.

a

The Christ

a

Gorn 1, Enterprise 0

a

“Your ball, Sir.”

a

Goddess of the Blues Samantha Fish with her Fishocaster. 〉swoons〈

a

A gorgeous shot of my buddy, the late John Anthony West, taken, I believe, by my friend Sohaila Hussein.

a

Production of this model has been cancelled.

a

Thank God for that.

a

Delicious

a

Nice little Ford, don’tcha think?

a

Heroes. Mario Andretti and Ronnie Peterson. Lotus 79.

a

A positive result from this would explain the fruit situation in one shot.

a

This is the object that was the guest of honor at the Westall school sighting in Australia back in the day. Two hundred witnesses. Not sure how these alamy guys got it. I have written about this incident.

a

Ladislav Guderna’s Le visiteur de la nuit

a

So glad that Alfa Romeo is back in F1.

a

Bridget Bardot on an Alfa Romeo 2600 Spider

a

I better close, gonna do it in honor of a convo today … this Alfa Romeo 800’s for Carolyn, a fellow fast braker!

 

peace

 

 

clarefarewell
guestbook link

Eulogy For Clare

Clarinta Elda Elizabeth Moore
(aka Clare P. and Clarita)
May 12, 1922 – November 16, 2017

Growing up I thought of Aunt Clare as that happy lady who came over a lot, was my
Aunt and loved to pinch my cheek really hard, call me an embarrassing name and give
me tons of presents. She’d always be sure to remind us to never say nine but instead to
say ni-yun, so people would be sure to understand what we meant. That came from
being a teacher for Ma Bell, teaching all the girls how to be operators. She did that at
least two, maybe three decades…a lady not afraid to try new things.

Now I see her more as The Giver, The Helper. Always giving. To the Indians
especially, others,too. But wait…

She always brought tons of food, too, remember?

A passion for food took root in Clare early on… she’d tell stories of behind the scenes
happenings in the kitchens of her clients… when she was twelve years old. She was a
pro that early because she stepped up in support of her family. Her dad had been
called to the Lord very early on, you see. She took that support as a mission to heart…
to her Soul and kept at it right up to her last day here. That is so beautiful a thing.

But the food…

She loved food and cooking and seeing to it that every single person there; and
sometimes there were quite a lot; wound up stuffed and happy. I was always amazed at
how much food she could make on a moment’s notice.

Holidays always saw everyone pounding pound after pound of perfect pasta sarde,
serious shrimp cocktails, delicious Dolly breads for Easter, astounding apple pies and
of course, her glorious Baked Beans, which define the phrase “indescribably
delicious.” They are one of those treasures of a lifetime that simply can never be
duplicated, for not a one of us has that God-given magical touch.

Clare’s devotion to family especially her siblings was powerful right to her dying day.
There’s Orlando, who everyone called Tim, Anita and Louise, Evalyn and Lena, her
parents, husbands Joe Greco and Clay Moore, cousins, especially Bobby Morrell, as
well as friends she adored… with very deeply felt emotions for each and every one.

Her heartthrobs were Erroll Flynn and Randolph Scott and the music was by Gene
Autry, the Sons of the Pioneers and our very own Uncle Tim, who could hold his own
with those guys for sure.

Always the traveler, the adventurer, Clare would go out West, ride horses, stay at dude
ranches and just be toolin’ around in her Model A Ford, gobbling up life with gusto. She
must have been quite something back in the day.

Clare was never afraid to tackle any issue in order to keep us safe and secure no matter
where she was or what her situation was. Clare was likewise never afraid to spread her
love as far as she could with the hotspot being her family. She did these things with
remarkable success and her example lives on as inspiration for all of us to follow.

She taught me so much in those last few years. Taught me without even knowing she
was… about dealing with my profound sadness and inner anger and especially about
what love really is. And that is nothing less than giving solace and comfort, protection
and security with no expectation of return. But even in her final days she managed to
give me clear messages of love in return. Truly a remarkable lady.

Fare thee well, my dear Aunt Clare – I know you are up in heaven now, watching
over us, keeping us safe. I feel you here sometimes.

Enjoy your new journey knowing that you will live in love in our hearts forever.

— Iggy Makarevich

I read that today at Clare’s funeral. Made it to the end in one shot with just a couple of quavers toward the end! Thank you to those who hlped me get to where I could do that.

It was a small, intimate and lovely ceremony and just as I had hoped it would be. The crowd was small but the people there were the right people and that was definitely a welcome thing. All my love to everyone that was there. That goes for the man from St. Mary, too, who I sadly forgot to exchange names with. He was so pleasant, which was a good result as I had no clue what to expect.

I was blessed to have my dear friend Andy Raynor, (the holiest person I’ve ever met), do the interface with the divine. She is so good at that and then there came the fabulous, unaccompanied Amazing Grace sung by my dear cousin Jamie Petrone which gave us the sweet, soulful sound we needed at just the right time. Quite a few commented how great it was. Jamie is so inspiring.

Such wonderful family and friends … made me feel at ease and loved.

And then … wouldn’t ya know it…

There was a bit of paranormal in it, too, thank God, as Aunt Clare was there (!!!) in the form of a tiny bird seated at the peak of a nearby pointed monolith watching us and at just the right time chirped at us directly and then flew off, fortunately right after I got in a rockin’ thumbs up!

I will treasure it always.

photo by jerri Wiley mods by Iggy Makarevich

peace

 

Absolutely it was. Bar none. But it was only a brief moment of joy.

Because today, the Communists have taken the minds of friends and family and thousands of others. I am both astounded and frightened.

1

 

 

2

 

 

My friend, who told me this guy was profound, suggested I look him up to put more meat on the intended healing which started with Lama Yeshe. That is kind of significant, methinks. Seeing as I was still… grumpy.

So I did. Here are some clips that relate to my demons. There are a bunch to look through, I’m sure yours are there, too.

CHOGYAM TRUNGPA SPEAKS ABOUT LONELINESS & LOVE

Chögyam Trungpa

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche on loneliness and love from the talk “Loneliness.” A short audio clip from talk six of the Vipashyana Meditation Seminar, September 12, 1974, Karme Choling, Barnet, Vermont.Chögyam Trungpa (February 28, 1939 – April 4, 1987) was a Buddhist meditation master and holder of both the Kagyu and Nyingma lineages, the eleventh Trungpa tülku, a tertön, supreme abbot of the Surmang monasteries, scholar, teacher, poet, artist, and originator of a radical re-presentation of Shambhala vision.

Recognized both by Tibetan Buddhists and by other spiritual practitioners and scholars as a preeminent teacher of Tibetan Buddhism, he was a major, albeit controversial, figure in the dissemination of Tibetan Buddhism to the West, founding Vajradhatu and Naropa University and establishing the Shambhala Training method.

Among his contributions are the translation of a large number of Tibetan texts, the introduction of the Vajrayana teachings to the West, and a presentation of the Buddhadharma largely devoid of ethnic trappings. Regarded as a mahasiddha by many senior lamas, he is seen as having embodied the crazy wisdom (Tib. yeshe chölwa) tradition of Tibetan Buddhism. Some of his teaching methods and actions were the topic of controversy during his lifetime and afterwards.

Loneliness…check

Emptiness…check

Shunyata: Emptiness, between that and this, beyond concept -Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, Shambhala

TrungpaRinpoche
Published on Mar 19, 2014

http://www.shambhala.org  http://www.archives.shambhala.org/
The idea you are awake. Absence of bullshit. Beyond conceptualized mind. Possibilities of all kinds. Clear fantastic space. “That moment where you catch yourself between that and this you begin to realize that who you are is not particularly certain on the spot, but you begin to catch yourself between two points, which is not really two points, it’s one point, which is split already  in two points. You begin to realize there’s this or that possibilities of it, on the other hand there might be some.. But so what? Try to find out. And let has have a good time with that, whatever it is.”
Talk 7 from “Viewing and Working with the Phenomenal World” Seminar, Naropa Institute, 1st July 1976.
Commemorating the 27th Anniversary of the Parinirvana of VCTR, 2014
©1976 by Diana J. MukpoSupport the Shambhala Archives
Parinirvana Day is traditionally the time when the Shambhala Archives raises funds to support its ongoing work. If you feel inspired to bring this to your community, or to make a donation on their behalf, please go to Shambhala Media and Shambhala Archives at https://www.shambhalamedia.orgBiography of The Vidyadhara, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/vctr/
Facebook http://www.facebook.com/Trungpa
Books and other Media http://www.shambhalamedia.org/SearchR…

 

Aggression…check

Surrendering Your Aggression -Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche –Shambhala

 

TrungpaRinpoche
Published on Oct 17, 2010
http://www.youtube.com/user/TrungpaRi…
Aggression not in the sense of that you’re angry, you keep on loosing temper. But aggression in the sense of fundamental obstacle. …surrendering, seems to be the only way to overcome aggression.
Naropa University 1975
©1975 by Diana J. Mukpo.Shambhala Web Site: Vision – Lineage – Meditation – Community at http://www.shambhala.orgAdditional online audio and video presentations of Vidyadhara, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s lectures and seminars in “Talks by Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche: ” at http://www.chronicleproject.com/CTRli…
Some have summaries, study guides, commentaries or discussion. Includes:
“Meditation: The Path of the Buddha” (6 talks – video) at http://www.chronicleproject.com/CTRli…
“Tibetan Buddhist Path”. Boulder, Colorado; Naropa 1974 (14 talks – video)   http://www.chronicleproject.com/CTRli…
“Skillful Means and Wisdom on the Buddhist Path”. A DVD set of 18 talks on 5 disks has been released by Kalapa Recordings. See more at The Chronicles at http://chronicleproject.com/stories_2…Learn More About Meditation at http://www.shambhala.org/meditation/
You can find out more about our Meditation Programs available at your local Shambhala Meditation Centre: List of over 200 Shambhala Centers and Groups Worldwide http://www.shambhala.org/centers .
Meditation programs and Shambhala events worldwide http://www.shambhala.org/programs/ .Biography of The Vidyadhara, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/vctr/
Facebook http://www.facebook.com/Trungpa

The Chronicles of Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche http://www.chronicleproject.com
On Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Chronic…
TrungpaChronicles’s YouTube Channel http://www.youtube.com/user/TrungpaCh…
“Touch and Go”. Fifty years ago, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche led hundreds of Tibetans as they fled their homeland in a history-making journey. A documentary. http://chronicleproject.com/TouchandG…

Chögyam Trungpa Legacy Project http://chogyamtrungpa.com/wp/

Great Stupa of Dharmakaya  http://www.shambhalamountain.org/stup… and  http://www.shambhala.org/stupa.php

Shambhala Publications Books of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche at http://live.shambhala.com

Nalanda Translation Committee http://nalandatranslation.org

50 Best Quotes, Photos: Chögyam Trungpa, Buddhist meditation teacher http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/1…

The Sakyong, Mipham Rinpoche – Video and Text Biography, Schedule, Contact, etc. http://www.sakyong.com./sakyong.php
Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche -Official YouTube Channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/officials…
Sakyong.com Online Archives http://www.sakyong.com/archive.php
These Archives have video, audio and written teachings of the Sakyong, Jamgön Mipham Rinpoche.
Books & Media http://www.sakyong.com./booksandmedia…

The Sakyong Wangmo, Khandro Tseyang
Invoking the Mother Lineage: The Sakyong Wangmo and feminine principle. http://www.shambhala.org/community/Sa…

EveryBodhi (formerly Buddhist Youth Project) http://every-bodhi.org
EveryBodhi on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/user/BuddhistY…
Buddhist Youth Festival http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JRmxk…

Shambhala Sun http://www.shambhalasun.com “Today’s leading Buddhist magazine, bringing a contemplative view to all the important issues in life.” Extensive archives.
Buddhadharma www.thebuddhadharma.com “An in-depth, practice-oriented publication for Buddhists of all traditions.” Online is “information on each issue including brief excerpts from many articles.”

Shambhala Media at http://www.shambhalamedia.org
Toll Free 1-888-450-1002 Ph: 902-421-1550 x1
Shambhala Media communicates the vision, teachings, and culture of Shambhala and the Sakyong lineage through publications, recordings, and other media. Shambhala Media also includes the two following links:
Shambhala Archives at http://www.archives.shambhala.org.
Shambhala Times, community news magazine at http://shambhalatimes.org

Shambhala International
1084 Tower Road
Halifax, Nova Scotia
B3H 2Y5, Canada
Email: [email protected]
phone (902) 425-4275
fax (902) 423-2750
Shambhala is a global community. There are more than 200 centers and groups around the world, as well as thousands of individual members.

Shambhala web site: Vision – Lineage – Meditation – Community at http://www.shambhala.org
Shambhala -Affiliations The Global Mandala at http://www.sakyong.com/affiliations.php

Shambhala Europe at http://shambhala-europe.org
Kartäuserwall 20
50678 Köln Germany
[email protected]
Telephone: +49 (0) 221 310 24 00
Fax: +49 (0) 221-310 2450

I think I need to spend more time with this. It might stick.

I wonder if there are any current teachers who have achieved the heights this fella and Lama Yeshe did. Or are just good teachers.

peace

 


Part 1: Introduction to Tantra – Lama Yeshe
Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive
Published on Nov 1, 2013

Part 2: Introduction to Tantra – Lama Yeshe
Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive
Published on Oct 30, 2015

*Recently Updated*
This DVD forms a companion to the second half of our free book “The Essence of Tibetan Buddhism.” See the DVD “Three Principal Aspects of the Path” for the first half. For more information, please visit www.lamayeshe.com.Subtitles in English.Introduction to Tantra: In 1980, in California, Lama Yeshe gave a commentary to the Avalokiteshvara (Chenrezig) yoga method. This video is Lama’s introduction to this series and constitute a wonderful explanation of the fundamentals of tantric practice.Please visit us at http://www.LamaYeshe.com

An old friend sent me the first part of this in a valiant attempt to soothe my tattered soul. As regulars may suspect, the demons have gotten some pretty good footholds of late. A playground, they have here.

She did well. as although this fellow has some unusual eye activity and swaying about a bit, which I was advised to look past; his message comes through and he managed to hit on some big ones affecting the comfort level of my stay here on earth. Thank you, dear heart. What the man says makes good common sense and is realistically presented.

I was impressed with the dude and figured part two should be up here as well. And so it is. Enjoy.

Let us have

peace

edit: Oh dear I have learned that Lama Yeshe passed in 1984. He left us with a lot of good teachings, so we should give him a nice, grateful tip o’ the hat!

 

peace

 

“Dogman Terrified My Son & Irate Game Ranger! “– Episode #30–Dogman Sasquatch Oklahoma Encounters

Cryptid Brothers Investigation
Published on Feb 16, 2018

This episode reveals a terrifying encounter that a son reluctantly told his dad that occurred while out with some friends trying to camp at Francis Marion National Forest near Charleston, S.C. in Spring of 2017. What he told his dad would terrify anyone!

Cryptid Brothers Investigation of Oklahoma is a team of brothers and colleagues that are experienced in outdoor survival skills, firearms, and wildgame habitats. We seek to help other Oklahoman’s that have witnessed and/or encountered a sasquatch or dogman-like creature, that they’re not alone. We travel, interview, and document from a scientific/biological investigative approach in order to understand the nature and characteristics of these elusive creatures roaming across Oklahoma and surrounding states.

For additional pics & info, visit FB page: “Oklahoma Encounters”
New website coming within few weeks: “www.dogmansasquatchencounters.com

If you’ve witnessed or experienced something that you couldn’t explain that was hairy, walks upright, or walks on four legs, call our toll-free number, 1-866-306-8085. Your name will be kept confidential. All reports will be taken seriously.

Apparently there are quite the high number of these nasties in the lovely state of South Carolina. The ranger doesn’t sound like irate is quite the right word… frustration with job restrictions while truly wanting to convince these kids that they need to not come back to that area. I can understand his actions completely.

Got friends down there … everybody be careful. Really. Seriously.

Thing makes a bear look like Mr. Rogers, man.

Capiche?

peace